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Month: December 2009

The Wounds We Brag About

There he was, blood dripping from his nose and running around the corners of his mouth…as he laughed and talked. I could not hear what he was saying but his bloodied football uniform and animated gestures clearly told the story of a battle that had been fought – a story he was sharing with his teammates. And that’s how wounds arrive, isn’t it? Battles are fought in our day to day lives. Sometimes these battles are against disease or depression. Sometimes we fight for our marriages, our jobs or our families. Sometimes we may not feel like we had a chance to fight at all, but the wounds still come. This is life on planet earth – what the scriptures refer to as “the land of the living.” It doesn’t always feel like living, though. And many of our wounds are slow to heal. Some wounds we prefer to hide, often from battles that we lose. This might include our alcoholism, pornography addiction or maybe our unnecessary debt from wasteful spending. Some wounds we bear in silence, usually from the battles we never got to fight. These might include childhood abuse, being deserted by a spouse or mourning a loved one stolen away by cancer. But some wounds we brag about. Yes, some wounds are worth the battle and any resulting pain. A few years ago I bruised my...

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Lost in Translation: Indirect Request Phrases

Attention all wives: the fact that many men like the movie character Yoda does not mean we want you to talk like him. Communication is critical to a successful marriage. That is why today I feel compelled to address an issue that plagues marriages all around the world. The problem is the use of indirect request phrases, or IRPs. When using an IRP (pronounced “urp”) wives present direct orders, or requests, disguised as simple statements of fact or innocent questions. The unsuspecting husband is expected to identify the IRP and solve the hidden instruction in order to take action....

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