Hi. I’m…um… I’m Ned…

Come on… You guys are all supposed to say… “Hi, Ned!” Don’t you people know how these things work? Alice would’ve.

I’ve known her for a long time now- like… Oh, I don’t know… a long time. And I’ve been nodding along with your little talks and stuff. Alice was nice. Alice was kind. Alice was funny. Alice was this. Alice was that… And you’re right; she was all of that crap… rolled up into one little… feisty lady! Ha ha.

But you know what else Alice was? She was nosy, dammit! She was always poking her nose in my business…

Where were you last week, Ned? You missed another meeting, Ned. You’re staying away from the sauce, ain’t you, Ned? Well… she didn’t actually say sauce. That was my word… I like it better than all those other words. It kinda rolls off your tongue in a funny way… sauce. Ha.

And speaking of the sauce… I want to make a toast to Alice…

What are you guys doing up here?… I’m not through yet. You just go sit down…

What? I’m putting it away. Geez. Just wait! I’m not through… Don’t pull on my arm. I’m still talking ’bout Alice…

Alice would always let me talk…

 

(This is part 14 of 26 of the story What Happened to Alice. To see the full listing click here.)